First Time Here?
- Unless she is holding a deadly weapon, there is never a reason to fight back. Ever. It's called being a man. Flight, not fight. 2011-06-28
- Is it okay to not call after getting a number or worse to actually go on a date and tell her in person? 2011-06-24
- Only enter a fight that carries a good cause. No need to damage a face over a spilled drink. 2011-06-23
- More updates...
There’s a type of relationship out there that I’m all too familiar with. The Fireman and the burn victim is what I like to call it. The Burn Victim is someone that has a completely unstable portion of their life that is giving them a third degree. Sure none of us are perfect, but there’s one outstanding issue that might be taking a majority of the Burn Victim’s mental thought process. The relationship doesn’t have to be limited a boy and a girl dating. I know of many relationships where there are best friends where one is a fireman and the other is the burn victim (BV). They’ll continue on to bear this mental burning scar until they meet a fireman. Lucky for them, when it comes to the exit of the relationship, the only one to be burned is the fireman.
Upon entering the relationship, the fireman may not be able to tell if the person they are adding to their life is an actual burn victim. Scars run deep, and most of the time they are covered in bandage so that it’s not easily visible. Sometimes it’s the love blinders (that’s a whole new topic) and sometimes it’s just from being the first time with a BV.
The first sign is usually quite small, hand passing over the flame, usually by the BV testing to see how the fireman’s water level is. It tests the relationship between the two and defines how they move forward. If the fireman catches wind of the fire and knows the path he must go, he may bow out. If he stays, the BV views him in two ways. The fireman will save the BV and they will continue on to tell a true story of repair through the hard work of the fireman. Or the fireman will fix the burn, prepping the BV to live better post relationship.
Hindsight is Always Perfect
After the burn is fully shown to the fireman, he/she has the choice to move forward or bow out. This has the possibility of happening before or after the BV’s fully healed. I’ve had many a relationships in the past where I’ve bowed out after my BV has healed. Oddly enough, I find them to be some of the few people in the world who don’t hate me in the slightest. They’ll vouch for me in every way and I cherish the time I spent with them, with the exception of one small detail; I am burnt out.
I will catch wind of a BV extremely fast and bow out almost immediately. I’ll only move forward with someone new in my life knowing that they are either healed, or were never burned before. I do feel quite awful from the fact that they see me as their fireman, but I simply don’t have the energy to heal another person. If you feel like I’m not in the right path I’ll only tell you one reply. If I am presented to the God I believe in, in the afterlife, I’ll only really want his opinion. He was the one that put all the BV’s before me. When was your last BV?
The women I have in my life who know about the website have had great opportunities to dish out a black cards to people even before they have even been printed. As for the stories I get before they are printed, it would be a shame to not write about them and help teach the men of this world. Here’s a recent pick up that was a complete failure. I find it to be quite amusing from the thought of, “What were they thinking?”
Short, beautiful and always wearing a smile, our girl hops in the elevator with another fellow who she described as, “creepy.” The two are the only ones on the elevator as they go up. Here’s the conversation:
Fellow: “Do you work for secret service?”
Fellow: “Oh because you look like one, well built in civilian clothing.”
End of Elevator ride for the lady.
Awesome! Let’s dive into where the fail began. If you are the type that does not care about their appearance, and actually get described as creepy, you have a lot to work on. That’s an entire new topic. Here’s the advice I will give. You’re in an elevator with a girl. You’re in a spot that’s in movies for being an awesome spot to make out behind the walls of society. You’re also in the same place the people get murdered in the movies. Girls will have one or the other as a thought the moment they see you. Think about it. I’d rather be the make out session thought. It’s not that hard to get there. Here’s one that I have tried.
The first thing to remember is to start the conversation the moment they enter the elevator. You already have an in. A gentleman will push the elevator floor for them by simply asking “What floor?” Not that hard. Two words are very simple to use. If you’re fearful of breaking the ice, try to do it every day you ride in one. It’ll make it a breeze. Here is where I take it after the question is delved out to the lady.
Lady: “Floor fifteen.”
GwR: “As you wish.” (With a smile.)
(Pause of silence)
GwR: “Have you not seen ‘The Princess Bride?’”
Lady Reply One: “Yes I have!” (You should know where to go from here.)
Lady Reply Two: “Nope”
GwR: “I don’t know if we can be elevator friends anymore. I get this one, you can have the other four. I’m not greedy.”
Let me know what your elevator ride is like. I’d love to hear some other classic approaches.
Oddly enough some gents forget about this topic when the go out. You’ll especially have to remember this when you’re out on the beach for the whole day and you’ve been playing volleyball for six hours. Or if you’ve been playing rugby in a storm and on a muddy grass field. You’re not going to smell good until you go home and clean yourself up. It is in this time that I would require myself to be preemptive about the smell when running into a close encounter with someone. They obviously will smell you and there’s nothing you can do about it. You have to just excuse yourself just like you would when your phone rings in a meeting or if you need to leave the dinner table. It simply states that you care about those around you and what they have to go through. Obviously you don’t want to be seen on the same level as the homeless guy who’s urinated on himself for the past seven months in the same pants that have not been washed.
No matter how bad a smell is, all bad ones are in one category. They immediately give people a perception of who you are without you having a choice to speak up. It’s actually a topic that comes up in sales. You can’t judge the old guy pulling up on the lot in a 1985 Cadillac, because there is a possibility that he’s rich enough to pay cash for another car.
Before you leave the house, check the deodorant, check the cologne (don’t overdose) and check the mouthwash & brushing. You may forget, but those around you will not.
Dear Gentlemen, this is a hard post to write because I’ve done it before. It’s sad to say but Mystery from “The Mystery Method” has it right. Bring him and I all the hate you want, but this rule still applies. When you meet someone, there needs to be some comfort as to who you are and what you are to them before you can jump to attraction. Usually, when you meet a girl out on the town, they don’t want to make out with you in the first fifteen minutes. This is of course a touchy subject from the girls removing Gents from the world as well. I’ll explain further.
Women who make out with you in the first four minutes of meeting you are why men usually don’t worry about being a gentleman. Let’s be realistic. Why on earth would we need to be respectful and mindful of your womanhood, when you’ll do something like this with a complete stranger? If a man and a girl were to date after this occurrence; what’s keeping him from thinking she’s not doing that while they are apart?
The comfort stage is simple. Find what you have in common. Don’t have something in common? Move on. I know you sometimes find people attractive and want to pounce like a lion. I often find women attractive, but I don’t see the point in pursuing someone that’s a vegan, doesn’t watch movies in theatres and has a ten o’clock curfew. Sure she might look like Carmen Electra or Paris Hilton, but the conversation will never get past comfort. Disagree?
I have a few good friends that are amazing in every way. They just have this ugly, blue-collar habit that is disgusting to the outside world. I very well know that it’s something people should not do ever. I lasted about four hours before being caught for the first time by a family member. I had some odd people around me when I was young that had this same habit. Unbeknownst to me, the younger me followed suit with the idea that it was what men do. It is not something anyone should really do. It’s also an impossibly bad habit to break as you get older. I’d never give someone a black card for this, but know well in advance that a girl in the future might, and she has the right to.
There is usually a reason as to why you are spitting. If you’re involved with tobacco (chewing or smoking) this is one of the causes of this. You obviously don’t spit on your kitchen floor when you’re eating breakfast, so there are times when you do and do not do this obscene habit. Curbing it only takes a good friend to remind you to stop every time you do it. They should only have the right to do it after you ask them to.
On the outside world, away from you and I, it’s seen as degrading yourself. You can be an esteemed individual, but the moment you let one loose on the pavement before you, your status is kicked down one notch almost immediately. In a conversation with a person with someone the first time, this will be the only thing they remember.
Fixing this will take you a considerable amount of time. If you’re working on yourself, as most of should be doing, have a reminder as to what this change will do for you and a way for you to keep yourself from doing it. If you’re without a friend, chew gum. It’ll keep you from letting it out. If you spit you gum on the floor, I’ll black card you for that. Don’t ruin my pavement.
I am quite regular about trying to keep my living space absurdly organized and clean. Every now and then I’ll fail to wake up in time to ensure that I can make my bed before I leave the house. The dog I live with right now is a total sweetheart. She’s quite the guard dog and knows to respect boundaries. She does have trouble with “hiding” her bones. She loves to sit on the edge of my bed during the day because the sun hits it giving her a great spot to get a warm-nap-session.
If by chance I don’t make my bed this little puppy will “bury” a bone in the sheets of my bed. I usually do a spectacular job of falling asleep without moving my unfixed sheets or fixed sheets. On those occasions I don’t make the bed and go to sleep, I’ll run into a small bone with my arm or leg. In the middle of the night I am reminded that I didn’t make the sheets and I get to experience a rigid hard thing sitting in my bed. For a male, it is not the experience we ever look forward to. Ever. Usually I throw it out the door of my room in the morning. Respectfully, now I try and make my bed every morning.
Let me know if you experience something like this. I bet there’s some more great stories along these lines. Of course, I’m looking at the glass half full. You may need to as well.
I sat on this post for a while debating on writing about it. Upon further thought of what happened that night, I realized that there were things that I had experienced and have experienced in my past that most people either do not learn from or need to learn for future reference. My sister, who is a lawyer, came into town to visit, and wanted me to take her out to meet her three girlfriends, who were all lawyers as well.
The immediate thought was a worry about how these girls would be. My sister and I have a bit of a polar opposite in personality. She is very driven, articulate, forgiving and displays joy with a smile. On the opposite side of that spectrum I sit with the characteristics of sporadic, extreme, fearless, energetic and blunt. Some would say that’s apples to oranges, but I describe us in that way because that’s most likely the first impression you may receive from us.
The post really begins with the thought that you may not know your company simply by what is on their resume. We all say we know this, but when meeting new people, a gentleman must understand how to cater to each person to make sure he doesn’t tread in water that may turn into tar. I’ve seen in time and time again when a gentleman buries himself in a topic that he shouldn’t have entertained or started due to the company he is with.
The lawyers were quite the entertaining group. I was quite surprised at how energetic and joyful the group was. Usually when I am out I end up being the storyteller or the one that helps keep the conversation going. I ended up getting to listen for a majority of the night. Usually I change the way that I tell a story pending on the company I am with, to adhere to the situation. Improvisation is essential in entertainment of those around you. Oddly enough, my guess of the company and how I articulated a certain topic ended up getting me buried by them. I wasn’t saddened by the situation, but I was awe struck by how badly it went. This is where I fully felt the phrase, “you can’t win them all.” We happily moved on to another topic, but I don’t think I’ll forget the moment it happened.
If you didn’t catch the fish I’m breading in the pond before you, remember that you can’t have a clubbers personality at a funeral, think about how your crowd will react to your story before you tell it, and always remember that failure is a part of life.
I do apologies for the gap in posts I’ve just set you with. I have been knee deep in all that is my life outside of the gentleman world. The cards were not enough for us when it came to ordering them. I felt that we needed to give the first and all liaisons that sign up for GwR a beautiful invitation that they cannot ignore. Once everything is put together and out on the market, we should see a large influx of posts making this site a great place to stop by. I’ll be sure to keep you all updated on the awesomeness of the website. As for smaller updates on the site, we just upgraded a small portion of the website that allows you to have a different view from your iPhone for faster load times and an easy read. I am sure I’ll have a fantastic post for you all tomorrow, and hopefully everything sent out to be printed.
I was paroling the men.style.com website and stumbled upon how fashion designers are dabbling into the chest hair saga. You can check out some of the photos here. I honestly don’t know how I feel about showing off the chest. I have certain physical aspects that I have to take into account when I rock the super-alpha-chest-out style. The first thing I’m going to look at is how my chest hair is looking at the moment. If you’re going to show the chest hair, it better look good with your outfit, facial structure and all that jazz. If it doesn’t you should just shave it off. Now if you’re rocking the hair-free chest, I want to be able to see two things. First is the collar bone. If I don’t get a proper dip or bulge out of the Pectoralis below the bone, I can’t rock the uncovered chest.
If you look at the photo set, you see zero well built men, with the exception of someone who slightly looks like they are working out, our friend the pirate. Now that’s also taking into account that recently the male model has dwindled in size. In a majority of fashion shows they’ve gone from the GQ average model waist size of 31 to as low as 28. Apparently fragile with chest hair is what the fashion industry is trying to dish onto us. Let’s not take into account the Pajama style suit in the middle of this photo shoot from Dolce and Gabanna that made me want to throw up. Or be a mob-boss.
Remember that fashions this small will come and go. Just because they chant to show it, if it’s not in your style, you don’t need to rock it. There are many ways to dress well, and classic style that will always be timeless. I do have an old shirt that falls into this show the chest style, I may bust it out and see what it looks like once again. We’ll see how that goes.
It is easier to reject change or new things then it is to accept them. It is even harder for us to keep an open mind for new information or new things to be a part of our life. We are built to be a creature of habit, and most of us cannot break from this. Yet knowing that it is an out-dated feature of how we were built, is the easiest way to fight it. When you are approached to try a new food, for example, your mind’s first reaction is to not do it out of self-preservation. Yet it’s just food, and probably something thousands of people have eaten before you.
Having an open mind in conversation is where we are also hesitant. The reason for that is because most people speak on behalf of self interest and not for the growth of another person. Taking in information with a grain of salt is different than infusing questions that can confirm the information you receive is completely accurate.
Negativity as a default is the final thought that I will say is no way to live. Resorting to hate, anger, or annoyance as your first reaction to anything from food to people is perceived by others on a sub conscious level. After time is spent with people that do this, it is pulled forward to their conscious and then you are perceived as a negative person.
Breaking these habits are difficult tasks for a person to go through, but once you’re on the other side, you’ll notice that the only thing that truly changes is personal happiness. It will not cause a negative change in your life if you remove the primary default negativity function that you may have been set on over time.