Gentleman & a Ruler » Black Card

A bad Approach – The Secret Service Elevator Ride

GwR — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 22:01:38 +0000

The women I have in my life who know about the website have had great opportunities to dish out a black cards to people even before they have even been printed. As for the stories I get before they are printed, it would be a shame to not write about them and help teach the men of this world. Here’s a recent pick up that was a complete failure. I find it to be quite amusing from the thought of, “What were they thinking?”

Short, beautiful and always wearing a smile, our girl hops in the elevator with another fellow who she described as, “creepy.” The two are the only ones on the elevator as they go up. Here’s the conversation:

Fellow: “Do you work for secret service?”

Lady: “What?”

Fellow: “Oh because you look like one, well built in civilian clothing.”

Lady: “What?”

End of Elevator ride for the lady.

Awesome! Let’s dive into where the fail began. If you are the type that does not care about their appearance, and actually get described as creepy, you have a lot to work on. That’s an entire new topic. Here’s the advice I will give. You’re in an elevator with a girl. You’re in a spot that’s in movies for being an awesome spot to make out behind the walls of society. You’re also in the same place the people get murdered in the movies. Girls will have one or the other as a thought the moment they see you. Think about it. I’d rather be the make out session thought. It’s not that hard to get there. Here’s one that I have tried.

The first thing to remember is to start the conversation the moment they enter the elevator. You already have an in. A gentleman will push the elevator floor for them by simply asking “What floor?” Not that hard. Two words are very simple to use. If you’re fearful of breaking the ice, try to do it every day you ride in one. It’ll make it a breeze. Here is where I take it after the question is delved out to the lady.

Lady: “Floor fifteen.”

GwR: “As you wish.” (With a smile.)

(Pause of silence)

GwR: “Have you not seen ‘The Princess Bride?’”

Lady Reply One: “Yes I have!” (You should know where to go from here.)

Lady Reply Two: “Nope”

GwR: “I don’t know if we can be elevator friends anymore. I get this one, you can have the other four. I’m not greedy.”

Let me know what your elevator ride is like. I’d love to hear some other classic approaches.

GwR

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Skipping to Attraction is Eminent Failure

GwR — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 23:20:31 +0000

Dear Gentlemen, this is a hard post to write because I’ve done it before. It’s sad to say but Mystery from “The Mystery Method” has it right. Bring him and I all the hate you want, but this rule still applies. When you meet someone, there needs to be some comfort as to who you are and what you are to them before you can jump to attraction. Usually, when you meet a girl out on the town, they don’t want to make out with you in the first fifteen minutes. This is of course a touchy subject from the girls removing Gents from the world as well. I’ll explain further.

Women who make out with you in the first four minutes of meeting you are why men usually don’t worry about being a gentleman. Let’s be realistic. Why on earth would we need to be respectful and mindful of your womanhood, when you’ll do something like this with a complete stranger? If a man and a girl were to date after this occurrence; what’s keeping him from thinking she’s not doing that while they are apart?

The comfort stage is simple. Find what you have in common. Don’t have something in common? Move on. I know you sometimes find people attractive and want to pounce like a lion. I often find women attractive, but I don’t see the point in pursuing someone that’s a vegan, doesn’t watch movies in theatres and has a ten o’clock curfew. Sure she might look like Carmen Electra or Paris Hilton, but the conversation will never get past comfort. Disagree?

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Stop Spitting

GwR — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 23:44:48 +0000

I have a few good friends that are amazing in every way. They just have this ugly, blue-collar habit that is disgusting to the outside world. I very well know that it’s something people should not do ever. I lasted about four hours before being caught for the first time by a family member. I had some odd people around me when I was young that had this same habit. Unbeknownst to me, the younger me followed suit with the idea that it was what men do. It is not something anyone should really do. It’s also an impossibly bad habit to break as you get older. I’d never give someone a black card for this, but know well in advance that a girl in the future might, and she has the right to.

There is usually a reason as to why you are spitting. If you’re involved with tobacco (chewing or smoking) this is one of the causes of this. You obviously don’t spit on your kitchen floor when you’re eating breakfast, so there are times when you do and do not do this obscene habit. Curbing it only takes a good friend to remind you to stop every time you do it. They should only have the right to do it after you ask them to.

On the outside world, away from you and I, it’s seen as degrading yourself. You can be an esteemed individual, but the moment you let one loose on the pavement before you, your status is kicked down one notch almost immediately. In a conversation with a person with someone the first time, this will be the only thing they remember.

Fixing this will take you a considerable amount of time. If you’re working on yourself, as most of should be doing, have a reminder as to what this change will do for you and a way for you to keep yourself from doing it. If you’re without a friend, chew gum. It’ll keep you from letting it out. If you spit you gum on the floor, I’ll black card you for that. Don’t ruin my pavement.

GwR

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