Oddly enough some gents forget about this topic when the go out. You’ll especially have to remember this when you’re out on the beach for the whole day and you’ve been playing volleyball for six hours. Or if you’ve been playing rugby in a storm and on a muddy grass field. You’re not going to smell good until you go home and clean yourself up. It is in this time that I would require myself to be preemptive about the smell when running into a close encounter with someone. They obviously will smell you and there’s nothing you can do about it. You have to just excuse yourself just like you would when your phone rings in a meeting or if you need to leave the dinner table. It simply states that you care about those around you and what they have to go through. Obviously you don’t want to be seen on the same level as the homeless guy who’s urinated on himself for the past seven months in the same pants that have not been washed.

No matter how bad a smell is, all bad ones are in one category. They immediately give people a perception of who you are without you having a choice to speak up. It’s actually a topic that comes up in sales. You can’t judge the old guy pulling up on the lot in a 1985 Cadillac, because there is a possibility that he’s rich enough to pay cash for another car.

Before you leave the house, check the deodorant, check the cologne (don’t overdose) and check the mouthwash & brushing. You may forget, but those around you will not.

GwR

Dear Gentlemen, this is a hard post to write because I’ve done it before. It’s sad to say but Mystery from “The Mystery Method” has it right. Bring him and I all the hate you want, but this rule still applies. When you meet someone, there needs to be some comfort as to who you are and what you are to them before you can jump to attraction. Usually, when you meet a girl out on the town, they don’t want to make out with you in the first fifteen minutes. This is of course a touchy subject from the girls removing Gents from the world as well. I’ll explain further.

Women who make out with you in the first four minutes of meeting you are why men usually don’t worry about being a gentleman. Let’s be realistic. Why on earth would we need to be respectful and mindful of your womanhood, when you’ll do something like this with a complete stranger? If a man and a girl were to date after this occurrence; what’s keeping him from thinking she’s not doing that while they are apart?

The comfort stage is simple. Find what you have in common. Don’t have something in common? Move on. I know you sometimes find people attractive and want to pounce like a lion. I often find women attractive, but I don’t see the point in pursuing someone that’s a vegan, doesn’t watch movies in theatres and has a ten o’clock curfew. Sure she might look like Carmen Electra or Paris Hilton, but the conversation will never get past comfort. Disagree?

I have a few good friends that are amazing in every way. They just have this ugly, blue-collar habit that is disgusting to the outside world. I very well know that it’s something people should not do ever. I lasted about four hours before being caught for the first time by a family member. I had some odd people around me when I was young that had this same habit. Unbeknownst to me, the younger me followed suit with the idea that it was what men do. It is not something anyone should really do. It’s also an impossibly bad habit to break as you get older. I’d never give someone a black card for this, but know well in advance that a girl in the future might, and she has the right to.

There is usually a reason as to why you are spitting. If you’re involved with tobacco (chewing or smoking) this is one of the causes of this. You obviously don’t spit on your kitchen floor when you’re eating breakfast, so there are times when you do and do not do this obscene habit. Curbing it only takes a good friend to remind you to stop every time you do it. They should only have the right to do it after you ask them to.

On the outside world, away from you and I, it’s seen as degrading yourself. You can be an esteemed individual, but the moment you let one loose on the pavement before you, your status is kicked down one notch almost immediately. In a conversation with a person with someone the first time, this will be the only thing they remember.

Fixing this will take you a considerable amount of time. If you’re working on yourself, as most of should be doing, have a reminder as to what this change will do for you and a way for you to keep yourself from doing it. If you’re without a friend, chew gum. It’ll keep you from letting it out. If you spit you gum on the floor, I’ll black card you for that. Don’t ruin my pavement.

GwR

I do apologies for the gap in posts I’ve just set you with. I have been knee deep in all that is my life outside of the gentleman world. The cards were not enough for us when it came to ordering them. I felt that we needed to give the first and all liaisons that sign up for GwR a beautiful invitation that they cannot ignore. Once everything is put together and out on the market, we should see a large influx of posts making this site a great place to stop by. I’ll be sure to keep you all updated on the awesomeness of the website. As for smaller updates on the site, we just upgraded a small portion of the website that allows you to have a different view from your iPhone for faster load times and an easy read. I am sure I’ll have a fantastic post for you all tomorrow, and hopefully everything sent out to be printed.

GwR

I was paroling the men.style.com website and stumbled upon how fashion designers are dabbling into the chest hair saga. You can check out some of the photos here. I honestly don’t know how I feel about showing off the chest. I have certain physical aspects that I have to take into account when I rock the super-alpha-chest-out style. The first thing I’m going to look at is how my chest hair is looking at the moment. If you’re going to show the chest hair, it better look good with your outfit, facial structure and all that jazz. If it doesn’t you should just shave it off. Now if you’re rocking the hair-free chest, I want to be able to see two things. First is the collar bone. If I don’t get a proper dip or bulge out of the Pectoralis below the bone, I can’t rock the uncovered chest.

If you look at the photo set, you see zero well built men, with the exception of someone who slightly looks like they are working out, our friend the pirate. Now that’s also taking into account that recently the male model has dwindled in size. In a majority of fashion shows they’ve gone from the GQ average model waist size of 31 to as low as 28. Apparently fragile with chest hair is what the fashion industry is trying to dish onto us. Let’s not take into account the Pajama style suit in the middle of this photo shoot from Dolce and Gabanna that made me want to throw up. Or be a mob-boss.

Remember that fashions this small will come and go. Just because they chant to show it, if it’s not in your style, you don’t need to rock it. There are many ways to dress well, and classic style that will always be timeless. I do have an old shirt that falls into this show the chest style, I may bust it out and see what it looks like once again. We’ll see how that goes.

GwR

It is easier to reject change or new things then it is to accept them. It is even harder for us to keep an open mind for new information or new things to be a part of our life. We are built to be a creature of habit, and most of us cannot break from this. Yet knowing that it is an out-dated feature of how we were built, is the easiest way to fight it. When you are approached to try a new food, for example, your mind’s first reaction is to not do it out of self-preservation. Yet it’s just food, and probably something thousands of people have eaten before you.

Having an open mind in conversation is where we are also hesitant. The reason for that is because most people speak on behalf of self interest and not for the growth of another person. Taking in information with a grain of salt is different than infusing questions that can confirm the information you receive is completely accurate.

Negativity as a default is the final thought that I will say is no way to live. Resorting to hate, anger, or annoyance as your first reaction to anything from food to people is perceived by others on a sub conscious level. After time is spent with people that do this, it is pulled forward to their conscious and then you are perceived as a negative person.

Breaking these habits are difficult tasks for a person to go through, but once you’re on the other side, you’ll notice that the only thing that truly changes is personal happiness. It will not cause a negative change in your life if you remove the primary default negativity function that you may have been set on over time.

Steelers.

For every guy out there who’s clearly not a gent, there’s a girl that parallels him. Don’t be distraught when you run into these girls. For the most part, there will be and is no reason to have these girls in your life. They are waste of time. I’ve run into my fare share of them over my short life so far. They sometimes may be good looking, the sometimes may be a different person when you first meet them, and then show their true colors to you. Know when to read these girls and extricate them from your life. Keeping a positive mentality on life can dwindle with individuals like this.

The approach

One of my previous interactions with a girl in this category was started off with a problem. They were spouting about a break up. I’m a problem solver so I got pulled in, not to give advice as most men do, but to help give perspective as to the guy’s thought process. They smile, ask when I’m drinking while drinking water. A clear sign they just want a drink. I knew I was with one of these girls for the reason that it would be a bad person to have in my life for the reason that when I spoke, she clearly wasn’t listening. If this EVER happens to you, never let it slide. The moment they ask a question, and then leave your answer mid sentence, they have a different end goal. Don’t interact with them unless you call them out on this. Turn your 25% asshole up in this situation if you want to interact with them. They brought their asshole with them, so to not bring yours is detrimental like a knife in a gun fight.

The Other Guy is Who I Want

If you’re interacting with a girl, and after a little while she starts to spout off about another guy, eject yourself. If she’s not a girl that you feel falls under this category, then you missed a step. Let’s be clear here, you’ve interacted with her for a certain time period and she chose to bring up a subject like that. It means you missed the social hook point. I only say this because she would be more interesting in you if you made yourself more interesting, or you said something to make yourself unattractive.

No, Seriously, Call me One

There are girls out there that want to be belittled, sworn at, mistreated and physically abused. I’ve met a couple. They are rare, and need to be left for the other guys. The only people that should fix these girls are professionals. They obviously have a problem that they need to deal with. I remember the last one I ran into, and she was interested in a guy who didn’t care about her, and then began to badger me about why people don’t respect her. The 25% wanted to say something about her IQ level, but the gent in me just ejected myself from the establishment. If she’s there, it says something about her place of choice, and the company she’s interested in.

GwR

In my quest to be the best source of information for the gentlemen in the world, I had to see for myself if there was anything like it across our great internet. Surely, there must be websites that talk about how to be a gentleman, or a consolidation if you will, of where to go when one wants to better himself.

This website was one of the first one’s I ran into on my quest. Of course my first stop was the Wikipedia page, but we can write about that later. The one below seems to me, in a few words, out dated. Not only from a web perspective, but from an information base on how to become a better gentleman. Most of the quotes are from the 1800’s. That doesn’t seem right to me. Upon further research, it ended up being a website for Vintage Dance & History for Southern California. I guess I’m still up on the list of where to go. Have fun and check it out when you’re done here.

On delicious, the first link one gets is “50 Rules To Being A Gentleman – KING-mag.com.” If you read the 50 rules, and are anything close to a gentleman, you’ll rename the list in your head to something like “How to not be a complete douche-bag.” Just have a gander when you get a chance and you’ll see things like, “don’t forget to iron your shirt” or (number one) “Don’t have kids until you’re 30.” I didn’t know age requirement for a reproductive male was a descriptive point in being a gentleman.

Askmen.com has one of the best pages on being a gentleman. It’s by far a superior list then the one’s we’ve written about. These things when not done don’t usually grant you a black card, but if done, they set you on a fast ticket to receiving a white card. Things like removing your hat indoors and giving your arm to a girl even when you’re not on a date really sets you apart. This would be a good list to add to your lifestyle if you feel something on it is missing.

Send some links my way if you find something along the same category, I’d love to see what you find.

GwR

The close talker, the extremely arrogant approach at the bar (including the arm grab), the dance floor re-re-re-re-re-approach-denial and the bad breath assassin are all qualifiers for the personal space black card. Look buddy, we all love you, but if you don’t brush your teeth, floss or use mouth wash, and talk to people four inches from their face, you’re bound to have a stigma attached to you. Let’s cover some things to remember with personal space.

You’ll Need Help

If you get black carded for personal space, you’ll need the help of those who you interact with to help you fix this flaw. I know a lot of people in my life that have a problem with understanding personal space. Usually it has to do with their extreme appreciation for the topic or the people they are talking to. You either need to be able to read the face of people you’re interacting with, or have them push you back a notch. I myself have flagged myself for this (well before I built this website). It’s painful when you realize that something as trivial as this can be detrimental to how you are perceived or in making new friends and companions.

Check the B with your Square

A true gentleman will have a way to check their breath. If you’re someone that is having trouble or working on personal space, you need to take a special effort with this. A pocket square is a way for you to be able to close the outside air from your mouth and inhale it with your nose. I know most of the world will find this part to be weird, but believe me when I say there are many people out there who have no idea they can kill small rodents with their bad breath.

Let Go OF THE ARM

Look dude, if a girl says no; don’t belittle yourself by asking again with some extreme persistence. It’s not attractive, something a gentleman never does, and lowers your social value. If you reach the point where you grab her arm to make sure you’re listening to her, you’re on the extreme end of fail. I’ve seen this happen to one of my girlfriends and the first though that went through my head was, kill. Gent’s usually don’t have that thought.

Re-re-re-re-re-approach-rejection = Denied.

It’s funny how much I run into this with my girlfriends. Yes, I have a lot of them. The attractive will totally agree on this topic. Men have trouble understanding when a girl doesn’t want to dance with them. You should only need one rejection and move on to the next girl on the dance floor. Guess what dude, some girls are actually at the club to dance. First off, you’re approaching a girl on the dance floor, so on a scale of one to ten you’re a unicorn. Sure you’re good looking, but you’re only good for the moment, and then people get over you. If a girl rejects you on the dance floor, there is for the most part, at least twenty other girls on the dance floor. So move on as if the rejection was nothing more than a miscommunication and move on to the next girl.

GwR