First Time Here?
- Unless she is holding a deadly weapon, there is never a reason to fight back. Ever. It's called being a man. Flight, not fight. 2011-06-28
- Is it okay to not call after getting a number or worse to actually go on a date and tell her in person? 2011-06-24
- Only enter a fight that carries a good cause. No need to damage a face over a spilled drink. 2011-06-23
- More updates...
There’s a type of relationship out there that I’m all too familiar with. The Fireman and the burn victim is what I like to call it. The Burn Victim is someone that has a completely unstable portion of their life that is giving them a third degree. Sure none of us are perfect, but there’s one outstanding issue that might be taking a majority of the Burn Victim’s mental thought process. The relationship doesn’t have to be limited a boy and a girl dating. I know of many relationships where there are best friends where one is a fireman and the other is the burn victim (BV). They’ll continue on to bear this mental burning scar until they meet a fireman. Lucky for them, when it comes to the exit of the relationship, the only one to be burned is the fireman.
Upon entering the relationship, the fireman may not be able to tell if the person they are adding to their life is an actual burn victim. Scars run deep, and most of the time they are covered in bandage so that it’s not easily visible. Sometimes it’s the love blinders (that’s a whole new topic) and sometimes it’s just from being the first time with a BV.
The first sign is usually quite small, hand passing over the flame, usually by the BV testing to see how the fireman’s water level is. It tests the relationship between the two and defines how they move forward. If the fireman catches wind of the fire and knows the path he must go, he may bow out. If he stays, the BV views him in two ways. The fireman will save the BV and they will continue on to tell a true story of repair through the hard work of the fireman. Or the fireman will fix the burn, prepping the BV to live better post relationship.
Hindsight is Always Perfect
After the burn is fully shown to the fireman, he/she has the choice to move forward or bow out. This has the possibility of happening before or after the BV’s fully healed. I’ve had many a relationships in the past where I’ve bowed out after my BV has healed. Oddly enough, I find them to be some of the few people in the world who don’t hate me in the slightest. They’ll vouch for me in every way and I cherish the time I spent with them, with the exception of one small detail; I am burnt out.
I will catch wind of a BV extremely fast and bow out almost immediately. I’ll only move forward with someone new in my life knowing that they are either healed, or were never burned before. I do feel quite awful from the fact that they see me as their fireman, but I simply don’t have the energy to heal another person. If you feel like I’m not in the right path I’ll only tell you one reply. If I am presented to the God I believe in, in the afterlife, I’ll only really want his opinion. He was the one that put all the BV’s before me. When was your last BV?
I am quite regular about trying to keep my living space absurdly organized and clean. Every now and then I’ll fail to wake up in time to ensure that I can make my bed before I leave the house. The dog I live with right now is a total sweetheart. She’s quite the guard dog and knows to respect boundaries. She does have trouble with “hiding” her bones. She loves to sit on the edge of my bed during the day because the sun hits it giving her a great spot to get a warm-nap-session.
If by chance I don’t make my bed this little puppy will “bury” a bone in the sheets of my bed. I usually do a spectacular job of falling asleep without moving my unfixed sheets or fixed sheets. On those occasions I don’t make the bed and go to sleep, I’ll run into a small bone with my arm or leg. In the middle of the night I am reminded that I didn’t make the sheets and I get to experience a rigid hard thing sitting in my bed. For a male, it is not the experience we ever look forward to. Ever. Usually I throw it out the door of my room in the morning. Respectfully, now I try and make my bed every morning.
Let me know if you experience something like this. I bet there’s some more great stories along these lines. Of course, I’m looking at the glass half full. You may need to as well.
I sat on this post for a while debating on writing about it. Upon further thought of what happened that night, I realized that there were things that I had experienced and have experienced in my past that most people either do not learn from or need to learn for future reference. My sister, who is a lawyer, came into town to visit, and wanted me to take her out to meet her three girlfriends, who were all lawyers as well.
The immediate thought was a worry about how these girls would be. My sister and I have a bit of a polar opposite in personality. She is very driven, articulate, forgiving and displays joy with a smile. On the opposite side of that spectrum I sit with the characteristics of sporadic, extreme, fearless, energetic and blunt. Some would say that’s apples to oranges, but I describe us in that way because that’s most likely the first impression you may receive from us.
The post really begins with the thought that you may not know your company simply by what is on their resume. We all say we know this, but when meeting new people, a gentleman must understand how to cater to each person to make sure he doesn’t tread in water that may turn into tar. I’ve seen in time and time again when a gentleman buries himself in a topic that he shouldn’t have entertained or started due to the company he is with.
The lawyers were quite the entertaining group. I was quite surprised at how energetic and joyful the group was. Usually when I am out I end up being the storyteller or the one that helps keep the conversation going. I ended up getting to listen for a majority of the night. Usually I change the way that I tell a story pending on the company I am with, to adhere to the situation. Improvisation is essential in entertainment of those around you. Oddly enough, my guess of the company and how I articulated a certain topic ended up getting me buried by them. I wasn’t saddened by the situation, but I was awe struck by how badly it went. This is where I fully felt the phrase, “you can’t win them all.” We happily moved on to another topic, but I don’t think I’ll forget the moment it happened.
If you didn’t catch the fish I’m breading in the pond before you, remember that you can’t have a clubbers personality at a funeral, think about how your crowd will react to your story before you tell it, and always remember that failure is a part of life.