Steelers.

For every guy out there who’s clearly not a gent, there’s a girl that parallels him. Don’t be distraught when you run into these girls. For the most part, there will be and is no reason to have these girls in your life. They are waste of time. I’ve run into my fare share of them over my short life so far. They sometimes may be good looking, the sometimes may be a different person when you first meet them, and then show their true colors to you. Know when to read these girls and extricate them from your life. Keeping a positive mentality on life can dwindle with individuals like this.

The approach

One of my previous interactions with a girl in this category was started off with a problem. They were spouting about a break up. I’m a problem solver so I got pulled in, not to give advice as most men do, but to help give perspective as to the guy’s thought process. They smile, ask when I’m drinking while drinking water. A clear sign they just want a drink. I knew I was with one of these girls for the reason that it would be a bad person to have in my life for the reason that when I spoke, she clearly wasn’t listening. If this EVER happens to you, never let it slide. The moment they ask a question, and then leave your answer mid sentence, they have a different end goal. Don’t interact with them unless you call them out on this. Turn your 25% asshole up in this situation if you want to interact with them. They brought their asshole with them, so to not bring yours is detrimental like a knife in a gun fight.

The Other Guy is Who I Want

If you’re interacting with a girl, and after a little while she starts to spout off about another guy, eject yourself. If she’s not a girl that you feel falls under this category, then you missed a step. Let’s be clear here, you’ve interacted with her for a certain time period and she chose to bring up a subject like that. It means you missed the social hook point. I only say this because she would be more interesting in you if you made yourself more interesting, or you said something to make yourself unattractive.

No, Seriously, Call me One

There are girls out there that want to be belittled, sworn at, mistreated and physically abused. I’ve met a couple. They are rare, and need to be left for the other guys. The only people that should fix these girls are professionals. They obviously have a problem that they need to deal with. I remember the last one I ran into, and she was interested in a guy who didn’t care about her, and then began to badger me about why people don’t respect her. The 25% wanted to say something about her IQ level, but the gent in me just ejected myself from the establishment. If she’s there, it says something about her place of choice, and the company she’s interested in.

GwR

In my quest to be the best source of information for the gentlemen in the world, I had to see for myself if there was anything like it across our great internet. Surely, there must be websites that talk about how to be a gentleman, or a consolidation if you will, of where to go when one wants to better himself.

This website was one of the first one’s I ran into on my quest. Of course my first stop was the Wikipedia page, but we can write about that later. The one below seems to me, in a few words, out dated. Not only from a web perspective, but from an information base on how to become a better gentleman. Most of the quotes are from the 1800’s. That doesn’t seem right to me. Upon further research, it ended up being a website for Vintage Dance & History for Southern California. I guess I’m still up on the list of where to go. Have fun and check it out when you’re done here.

On delicious, the first link one gets is “50 Rules To Being A Gentleman – KING-mag.com.” If you read the 50 rules, and are anything close to a gentleman, you’ll rename the list in your head to something like “How to not be a complete douche-bag.” Just have a gander when you get a chance and you’ll see things like, “don’t forget to iron your shirt” or (number one) “Don’t have kids until you’re 30.” I didn’t know age requirement for a reproductive male was a descriptive point in being a gentleman.

Askmen.com has one of the best pages on being a gentleman. It’s by far a superior list then the one’s we’ve written about. These things when not done don’t usually grant you a black card, but if done, they set you on a fast ticket to receiving a white card. Things like removing your hat indoors and giving your arm to a girl even when you’re not on a date really sets you apart. This would be a good list to add to your lifestyle if you feel something on it is missing.

Send some links my way if you find something along the same category, I’d love to see what you find.

GwR

The close talker, the extremely arrogant approach at the bar (including the arm grab), the dance floor re-re-re-re-re-approach-denial and the bad breath assassin are all qualifiers for the personal space black card. Look buddy, we all love you, but if you don’t brush your teeth, floss or use mouth wash, and talk to people four inches from their face, you’re bound to have a stigma attached to you. Let’s cover some things to remember with personal space.

You’ll Need Help

If you get black carded for personal space, you’ll need the help of those who you interact with to help you fix this flaw. I know a lot of people in my life that have a problem with understanding personal space. Usually it has to do with their extreme appreciation for the topic or the people they are talking to. You either need to be able to read the face of people you’re interacting with, or have them push you back a notch. I myself have flagged myself for this (well before I built this website). It’s painful when you realize that something as trivial as this can be detrimental to how you are perceived or in making new friends and companions.

Check the B with your Square

A true gentleman will have a way to check their breath. If you’re someone that is having trouble or working on personal space, you need to take a special effort with this. A pocket square is a way for you to be able to close the outside air from your mouth and inhale it with your nose. I know most of the world will find this part to be weird, but believe me when I say there are many people out there who have no idea they can kill small rodents with their bad breath.

Let Go OF THE ARM

Look dude, if a girl says no; don’t belittle yourself by asking again with some extreme persistence. It’s not attractive, something a gentleman never does, and lowers your social value. If you reach the point where you grab her arm to make sure you’re listening to her, you’re on the extreme end of fail. I’ve seen this happen to one of my girlfriends and the first though that went through my head was, kill. Gent’s usually don’t have that thought.

Re-re-re-re-re-approach-rejection = Denied.

It’s funny how much I run into this with my girlfriends. Yes, I have a lot of them. The attractive will totally agree on this topic. Men have trouble understanding when a girl doesn’t want to dance with them. You should only need one rejection and move on to the next girl on the dance floor. Guess what dude, some girls are actually at the club to dance. First off, you’re approaching a girl on the dance floor, so on a scale of one to ten you’re a unicorn. Sure you’re good looking, but you’re only good for the moment, and then people get over you. If a girl rejects you on the dance floor, there is for the most part, at least twenty other girls on the dance floor. So move on as if the rejection was nothing more than a miscommunication and move on to the next girl.

GwR

The gentleman who is self-actualized truly understands the difficulty of being a gentleman. We run into issues were we know for a fact that there are moments where it might hinder the advancement of the situation that we might be in. The fact is, the point of life is to get to that point, and begin to change the world in making the life of a gentleman easier. You’ll often interact with people who have no understanding of Maslow’s hierarchy of Needs and will not understand this first journey of life. A gentleman might not be at that high point of self actualization, but they are definitely on the path to that outcome as they work on bettering themselves. This is a sure sign that they will be accept the facts of where they came from, not be angry at their flaws and move forward.

Money is something that we must have to survive. Without it we cannot accomplish the very first step of the hierarchy of needs. Understanding that life can be enjoyed without the use of money is one of the hardest steps to accomplish in life. Obtaining income is the most useful step for preservation of life and increases the possibility of reproduction. Even if our goal in life is not to bring someone else into the world, our main goal is only self preservation. Without financial responsibility it becomes increasingly difficult to become stable at a later time in our lives.

Living life through inanimate objects is where people in my age range have the most trouble. We have expensive habits and a failing economy to deal with simultaneously. Most of us feel at a loss if we are not the owner of what is hot or new, and it is socially personified through our personality. When it comes to the simple needs in life, we also focus on obtaining the objects that have a higher status then what may be below it. Things like clothing and cars, are something a gentleman needs to make sure is not over-showing their income level. It may appear, or they may say that they are into this for their own happiness, but just like bodybuilding; these things were pressed on to you through a society that is directly influenced by marketing and media.

This indirectly helps the mental understanding of the gentleman. The hard work of mental stability is never conversed with whomever the gent is interacting with, but through this growth he is accepted at a higher level than average individuals.

The traditional thought of what to do for this day was passed down to me for the first time this year. On this day you are suppose to act and work on how you will be for the rest of the year. So if you work today, the thought is that you’ll work for the rest of the year. If you work out today, you’ll go to the gym every day for the year. If you’re mentally happy, well you get the point.
Get out there and do the things you want to do this year. Spend less, meet people, sit up straight, live life or just smile are all things you can do today. Try and at least make today a joyful one.

GwR

She’s gorgeous and sitting at the bar facing out with a drink in hand. All the guys look at her as she smiles and has her girlfriends on either side of her. They talk here and there but don’t say much due to the loud noise of the club. She notices all the guys checking her out, but doesn’t take interest in any of them. She humbly waits for someone to talk to her that she has hopes to be good looking and interesting.

He’s standing with a group of his friends next to the dance floor not too far from our girl at the bar. His good looks capture the glances of girls in the room. He’s been getting it for so long that he doesn’t even notice it happening. All of his ex’s have approached him in the past and he hasn’t had the need to work hard to meet anyone in his life. They approach him.

They do happen to notice each other. They keep exchanging glances waiting for either to make the approach. Fifteen minutes go by and the looks become more frequent but still nothing happens. Our girl’s friends notice her and make it more obvious for him to make the approach. His guy friends talk about how awesome he is that a hot girl is checking him out. An hour goes by and they pass each other without saying one word.

These ten’s will never truly meet because of blatant stupidity. Our guy doesn’t want to do the work and is being blocked by his fear, although he will deny it. The girl won’t make the approach because she plays by the rules. Plus she gets approached over five times a day so to ask her to approach him is completely absurd. Sadly they leave the club with someone else who approaches them both even though they both knew who they wanted to leave with.

It’s 2008 and, we the gentlemen of the world know, the times have changed. If are going to debate if we pay the bill on a date, if we are going to debate if women and men are to be paid equally in an office, if we are to debate if the women and men have a specific role at home; we say we should be equal. So in this one case, in this one situation in life, I’d black card both of them. This would probably be the one time I’d get mad at a girl for not doing something about it. You both can face rejection, but until you actually get rejected or accepted, you’ll just be a failure. We’ve all been here. I debate creating a specific page of men who never approached girls even though she gave him all the signs in the world for him to say hello. Just make the approach or you’ll just be some guy/girl who settled on something that came to you.

GwR

Young man, your posture is terrible. You’re leaning over because you spend 10 hours minimum a day looking at your computer. Sure you have a bouncy-ball for a seat at work, but all it’s really doing is working out your obliques for stabilization and keeping your spine at what one might assume is the natural position of the spine. I won’t get into our origin and how our spine has evolved and still has some evolving to do. Instead I’m going to get into how to keep your back straight without you constantly thinking about it.

No way, I’m not doing it.

That’s usually the first thing I hear when I present this to people. It’s sad really that they don’t want to do it, but I know it will help. Do back workouts like Shrugs, dead-lifts, Romanian dead-lifts, rows, etc. Chest workouts as well, incline, decline, straight bench. These are all things that will structurally change the position of your bones as well as strengthen your joints and muscles. Sitting in a chair is completely terrible for your back. People fail to realize this, and then when they go to a gym for their first personal training session, they have a horrible time on abdominal workouts. Guess what else helps your posture? That’s correct; Abdominal workouts.

Hunchback vs. Ahhnold

The very first thing almost everyone I know tells me about lifting weights is that they don’t want to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger from Pumping Iron. They say they “blow up” when they lift weights. First I’m going to tell you that lifting weights will never equal you looking like that unless you have god, steroids, and twenty-seven metric tons of chicken lying around for you to use/consume. It will never happen. Even if you try, it will take, at the minimum, ten dedicated years. So you decide not to lift weights and decide to do this on a conscious level. Your battle with this is not just with your body but with how we were originally intended to be: All four limbs on the ground. Two-thousand years from now, it might be your thought process on this that makes everyone perfectly postured. On the flipside, this is your life, and when you’re one-hundred years old, you’re going to want to live in a bell tower because your upper back will be above the top of your head. Who wants that?

Friend Correction

One of my cousins, bless that girl, would always grab my shoulders, hands over the top, thumb deep into the shoulder blade, and turn back to correct my posture. I have a habit of letting my stress ride in my shoulders like the good and bad angels we all carry. A good Yoga-session with one of my girlfriends is now what I use to wash it away. If you don’t have friends that have great posture (watch the people in your life today and see who does and doesn’t) you’re going to have to correct yourself. Have a tall mirror in your living place that you will pass at least once daily. On the mirror have the word “posture” on it to remind you of it. And check your stance in the mirror. We’ll have another post in the future to cover how the different workouts correct the posture in different ways.

GwR

I thought today’s write up could be over the updates to the site. Within this week I will be ordering the business cards to go out to the world. Soon the men of the world should have a small, cool, new reason to fear women. The black and white cards of this site will feature our G logo and the URL for the website. The women who will be able to hand out the cards will be assigned a number so that it can be tracked. Once a card is handed to a gentleman, the liaison should contact me with the cause of the hand out so that I can write it up for everyone to see. My hope is to also receive pictures when the cause of the hand out is something we can all blatantly see. I hope to have them complete and sent over to the print house tonight, pending the software issues I’m currently going through right now. Hopefully tomorrow you’ll see pictures of what the cards look like and when to expect them. That’s all for now!

GwR

Young sir I hope you have some self respect. Don’t deter your life with an abundant amount of it for the reason that it will be perceived by the outside as egocentrism. Don’t have to little or none of it, because then people will find you to be a black hole of downer-ism. Having trouble riding this wave? Let’s talk about the two areas, how to solve it and then check out the hook while my DJ spins it.

OD’ed on Self Respect

Keep yourself in check. No one is perfect, and if you bask in your awesomeness you’ll only end up being hated by people. When you receive compliments show gratitude and delete it from your head. Feeding off of this for self love is a one-way-ticket to assholeville. It is hard to notice when you have climbed your own pedestal. The best way to take a step back is to remember your flaws. We all have them. If I find myself quite happy about where I am, I knock back by writing down my flaws. I’ll share some with you to help out how to check yourself before you wreck your vehicle.

1. Shut up, you tell too many stories. Spend more time listening.
2. You’re not a 10/10. You’re bald, have a 20% body fat ratio, and have a crooked nose.
3. You forgot your collar stays this morning. Way to be clean cut.
4. Your breakfast had cheese and a little potato in it. Welcome to Failureville, Population you.

I seriously could go on, but you get the point. Everyone is flawed. I think it’s what makes us beautiful in this world. It’s our flaws that separate us from the animals. Without them we could not aspire to be bigger and better. Remembering your flaws helps you become indestructible and humble at the same time.

Oh Lord, why let me keep breathing

Get out of bed, brush your teeth and go for a freaking run. Sure you have flaws, but swimming in them only keeps you underwater and invisible to what’s around you. You must wake up and realize that we all wear them. It’s what we do with them in our lives to help move forward. Sure you were dating Jessica Alba and she dumped you for your best friend. Guess what. There are six billion people in the world and those were just two people. Your only flaw was to surround yourself with people who would do those actions to you. So now you can wake up and go find people that wouldn’t dare do something like that to you. If the situation that brought you down was so destructionably-devastating that you haven’t left your bed, I’ll only give you half of a day at most. After that, as your friend, I’d black-card you for wasting human life. We need you out there to fight the good fight for the gentleman world.

Where am I today?

I have great days, where I wake up at 5:00am on the dot and on fire for the gym. I have days where I want to call in sick and not leave my bed unless I have to go to the bathroom. Even that would be questionable, but I don’t want to ruin my mattress. It’s quite comfortable. That’s not the point. The point is to find out where you are and adjust to that perfect equilibrium. Catching yourself is the hardest part, but when you do, you’ll love it and be on a fast track to become a role model in the Gentleman world.

GwR